WTF 2?!? Storyline Boogaloo

Brian Damage

This is the second installment of WTF (Wrestling’s Terrible Failures)….this edition will focus on horrible storylines that polluted the pro wrestling airwaves.

Hulk Hogan’s Mustache

We start off in WCW, where Hulk Hogan was a year into his run. As popular as Hogan was in the WWF in the 80’s and early 90’s….by 1995…his persona had worn thin in WCW. The Hulkster was in the middle of a lengthy feud with Kevin Sullivan and his Dungeon of Doom stable. Some of the creative geniuses thought that an angle where the Dungeon shaved off Hogan’s mustache would equal big box office. The way Tony Schiavone was selling this, you’d think they were murdering him! The announcers were acting as if all the source of Hulk Hogan’s power came from his trademark Fu Manchu.

The Battle Over the Letter T

Feuds traditionally are started over titles, power and even women….WCW took it up a notch when the two sides involved battled over a letter. The letter in question was T and it involved Booker T and the debuting Big T (Formerly the WWF’s Ahmed Johnson)Booker T would eventually lose the right to use the letter T and could only be referred to as Booker. Enthralling stuff I know.

It Don’t Mean A Thing If I Ain’t Got Your Ring

So, we had a battle over the letter T in WCW. What could TNA wrestling do to try and match that or top that? You have Ric Flair and Abyss wrestle each other over jewelery. Not just any jewelery mind you…Hall of Fame rings….from another wrestling company! Ric Flair would put his WWE Hall of Fame ring on the line against Hulk Hogan’s WWE Hall of Fame ring (Which he just gave up to Abyss)in a match on TNA’s Impact TV show.

TNA had just declared war on the WWE and moved their TV show on Monday nights to compete with Raw. I guess the logic at the time was….viewers would change the channel and flock over to Impact to see someone lose a ring. Ric Flair lost the match. Which in turn meant he lost his HOF ring. Which meant TNA lost viewers because the show did a 0.5 rating. All for jewelery that is associated with another company.

Mr. McMahon’s Baby Boy

The set up to this storyline was that Mr. McMahon had an affair. Out of that affair, he had sired a love child. A bastard McMahon so to speak. The original idea was to have Ken Anderson (Mr. Kennedy) be revealed as the son of Mr. McMahon…but a failed drug test put the kibosh on that. So, the WWE went with the next best thing….Hornswoggle.

After all, if you couldn’t have the storyline you want, you mine as well play it for laughs….or a slight chuckle. The storyline was filled with comedic segments, but in the end…seeing as Vince surely wanted a conclusion…revealed it was just a practical joke played on him by Fit Finlay.

Natalya’s Flatulence

The less said about this the better…but in 2012…Natalya was given a gimmick and storyline where she would constantly fart. Not sure who she pissed off during that time to get such a stupid gimmick, but it was later dropped and never referred to again. Thank God!

Vince McMahon Versus God

Speaking of God, we mustn’t forget the “epic” battle between good and evil between Mr. McMahon and the holy one. After Wrestlemania, when Shawn Michaels defeated Vince in a street fight. McMahon claimed it was only an act of God that saved Michaels from defeat. He and his son Shane McMahon went on to challenge both HBK and God to a tag team team match at Backlash in 2005. The entire feud was complete with the McMahons walking into a church and challenging God on his turf.

Perry Saturn and a Mop

If wrestling with God isn’t your thing, how about a guy in love with a mop? The mop even had one of the most creative names in the history of names….Moppy. If you think WWE creative was high at the time that this storyline was conceived…you are close…Perry Saturn was actually legitimately stoned during this time. Saturn even states in interviews that he hardly even remembers the segments with Moppy because he was always high. In a way, it was a good thing, because it was stuff not worthy of his talents.