Where Can I buy Some Spandex: Week 2

pbwGary Henderson

Our very own Gary Henderson’s wrestling training with Premier British Wrestling (PBW) here in Scotland continues. Today he shares his stories from week 2 of his training.

I love the ‘wrasslin, so I do.

Week two at training there, and a thoroughly enjoyable one at that.

Once again, my neck is stiff and my shoulders are killing me (I’ve definitely got something wrong with my shoulder joints, they’ve been giving me grief for a few months now). Other than that, my lower back is in a decent amount of pain, due to attempts at doing a bridge and likely using muscles that had gathered a fair amount of dust over the years.

Balls to all that though, I feel good.

I reckon I’m getting my head around it at a fairly alright pace. I’m by no means a ‘natural’ when it comes to the physical stuff, because I’m as clumsy and uncoordinated as they come, but I’ve surprised myself a bit at how willingly I’m throwing myself about.

I’ve always been a large fella – always bigger than my friends – so even when we played wrestling when I was younger, I was never the one being lifted, slammed or doing any manner of flips. So at 25, I’m working my way through my first front flips and being lifted for the first time (sober).

So the experience of taking a proper slam and a suplex was an odd one, and diving head first off a stage into a front flip was a bit weird, but I’ve given myself the mindset here of “you’re getting old, you look like shit, just throw yourself into these things and it’ll work…and if it all goes tits up, it goes tits up”.

After the usual warming up and stretching and working through our bumps – which I felt a lot better about this week – we got a chance to learn some moves like the aforementioned.

Now, there are six of us in the ‘novice’ crew, and what a cavalcade it is. There’s myself, Big Kyle, Asian Assad, a young lady called Karlin, a guy at about 21 I reckon called Mark (or Matt, I’m shit with names) and a wee 13 year old guy who’s a total wideo but in a really funny way. It’s quite the crew, 13-25, guys and girls, all brought together by a love of chucking each other about.

So obviously, being the larger duo of the group, its me and Big Kyle that get paired off. Watching the two of us trying to slam and suplex each other was probably a cracking comedy of errors to watch, but again, after a few attempts and Kyle trying to suplex me on the floor instead of the crash mat, we got there in the end.

It was better than the alternative, which was me trying to give a back elbow to Assad and nearly knocking his Adams apple clean off (I’m clumsy, uncoordinated etc). At least Kyle and I can knock each other about a bit without worrying too much.

Owner Ross Watson (Kid Fite) popped in and ran through a bit of business with the more experienced boys, making it pretty apparent that in a locally run organisation like this, trainees need to do a lot more than learning to wrestle. They’re expected to get out and flyer, poster and promote upcoming shows, as well as being there on show days to help set up, work security and try to get folk in the building. Its all part of ‘paying your dues’ and – I reckon – separates those who really want to be involved with folk just in it for a laugh.

Then I really got to enjoy myself. See I have this drunk alter ego – El Bensico. I can try and dress it up as an elaborate and incredibly smart and funny bit of satire, but basically, I’m a fat, seedy, loveable luchadore. I have a sidekick called Senior Moustache – an empty pipe of Pringles. I sing Enrique Iglesias to girls, I call myself the ‘King of the Winch’ and generally annoy people.

So we’re asked to display some character work, just a simple lock up/head lock/wrist lock combo with some showmanship. For some reason, I just became El Bensico. I adopted a really terrible Spanish Borat accent and turned incredibly camp, doing dodgy forward rolls across the ring.

I’m describing this terribly, but it worked. I’m 5”11 and pudgy. I’m a complete goofball in real life and get by on a bit of wit. I’m never going to be a tough guy or a hard-man, but there’s always room in wrestling for someone to put a smile on faces – look at Grado – so I reckon I’ve got a foundation of something to work with going forward.

Who knows, it’s incredibly early days yet.

Anyway, we’ve had an introduction into bumping, chain wrestling and moves so far as well as a look into some character work. Despite my limited knowledge of all things wrestling, I’m genuinely really impressed by how its all run and has been done.

Personally, I think a lot of people are maybe put off starting to wrestling, thinking they’d be intimidated, run into the ground, abused and all that sort of shit you hear from horror stories. Don’t get me wrong, people are there to work, but it’s done in the most fun (and safest) manner possible. And at the end of the day, if it’s not fun, what is the point?

So this weekend I’m off up to Greenock on Saturday to help (and by that I mean turn up and be a complete skivvy for the day – gotta pay dem dues brothaaa!) with PBW’s huge Maximum Impact show, then its back down to training on Sunday, and off to ICW’s massive sold out Barralands show on Sunday night.

So eh, aye. Sound.

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