Where Can I buy Some Spandex: Week 5

pbwGary Henderson

Our very own Gary Henderson is doing his wrestling training with Premier British Wrestling (PBW) here in Scotland. Today he shares his stories from week 5 of his training.

I’ve got my first proper wrestling injury.

I don’t know how long I’m going to be out, or if I’ll ever be able to step inside that glorious squared circle again. I’ve booked into Dr. Andrews in Birmingham, Alabama to get surgery and start my rehab as soon as possible, and I’ve contacted Bono about using ‘Beautiful Day’ incase there’s a comeback on the cards.

Brothers, I’ve skint both my elbows.

It’s not just a wee skinning either, its deep man, so deep. It’s scabbing over hard and I’m already forging a dependence on pain pills. The road has owned me brothers.

Anyway, away from that shite, another week of training down and another enjoyable session that left me scabbed, winded and sore. I expect nothing less.

This week we welcomed back Grieg, who joined the novice crew with myself, Kyle, Matt, the wee guy that’s thirteen and a wideo, Karlin and Asaad.

Our warm ups generally consist of a decent jog around the room, with sit-ups, squats, push ups and neck bridge stuff peppered in. Then it’s to the mats where we do lots of things that I’m not very good at – like forward and backward rolls, headstands, star jumps and other assorted football celebrations.

This week I caught my foot in the mat as I went for a horrible cartwheel. Down I dropped like a sack of ginger bearded spuds in front of everyone. It’s the biggest pop (cheer) I’ll receive as a wrestler. No less than ten minutes later, I’m trying to work through possibly the simplest combination in wrestling history – take a clothesline, duck a clothesline, hit a clothesline.

I took the clothesline fine because I’m apt at falling down, ducked it, caught my foot in something again, did that thing where you know you’re falling but you run a bit to try and not fall (seen weekly on the football pitch for all the EK Milan fans out there), fall harder, land against the wall and leather my head against it. I was starting to see a theme emerging here.

I’m really clumsy and my balance is terrible. I’m getting the feeling that might be my biggest obstacle to overcome, narrowly beating out being fat, not knowing how to wrestle, getting old and not knowing how to wrestle. Someone, who has never met me in person, said I was the type of guy to walk into a room, shout “WAYYYYY LADDDSSSS”, slip on a banana skin and go flying out the window. This is frighteningly accurate.

As much of a good laugh as all of that was, it’s gotten me thinking about my gym regime and how I work out. I’ve been quite content lifting weights and throwing the occasional spin class in there for the last couple of months. I have a decent idea of what I’m doing in a gym now, having lost about 50lbs in the last 16 months, but I reckon I need an overhaul. I’ve got to be more flexible, more agile, better balanced and have a better core. Without dressing it up with nice words, I’ve got to be less of a klutz.

Elsewhere, we worked through the basics some more and were put through our paces with a bumping drill that involved taking bump after bump after bump. It was all about bumping in the centre of the ‘ring’, noting that the ‘theatre’ of wrestling was four sided, and to display yourself and your moves with this in mind. Again, it’s one of the intricacies that can go unnoticed, but an important one.

In the next month, PBW have two big main roster shows, while BCW (and many of the same wrestlers) have a double header of their own.

On top of this, our school have their Academy Attack show right before Christmas, where a few of the guys will be making their in-ring debut. It’s going to be a big month and I’ll hopefully be getting as involved as I can with it all. I’m off to Airdrie this Saturday to help out with a show there, returning with a few fun stories and hopefully another £6.50 cash windfall.

Not a huge amount of content there apart from me falling over which is hardly ground breaking (unless you mean literally), so let’s fire through some questions I’ve been asked;

Q: Out of interest, what realistic moves (obviously you’re not going to be doing any 450 splashes) are you looking forward to learning?

A: I resent that. Eh I don’t know actually. I’m not a big indie MOVEZ guy. I like a story being told in the ring, and big personalities getting big crowd reactions by doing very little (see: J. Cena, G. Rado, B. igdaddy). I love throwing a clothesline. But out of all the moves I’ll take an RKO Outta Nowhere every day.

Q: Do you actually think a fat shit luchadore will work?

A: Why not? You never know what will ‘get over’ in the wrestling world. Italians with cotton snakes, the WORM, the Peoples Elbow, Mr. Socko, a mannequin head – all sorts of shite gets popular for whatever reason. It’s down to the person doing it I suppose. If I’m doing some nonsense like that, I’ve just got to do it well, be convicting and bring all the lolz.

Q: What’s your goal at the end of all this or have you set any targets?

A: To main event Wrestlemania brother! Nah, just to enjoy myself. The minute I stop enjoying it I’m done. My ‘dream’, if we’re being semi-realistic, is to wrestle on a big ICW show in the next 4/5 years, but my immediate goal is to make an in-ring debut by Academy Attack 4 in December 2015. That gives me a little over a year from now to get there, which I personally believe is manageable. I think.

Ps. I also want to have a match in East Kilbride in front of aw my pals and I win and they carry me to Downtown while still wearing spandex.

K thx bye for now.

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2 thoughts on “Where Can I buy Some Spandex: Week 5

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