Weight: 401 lbs
Glory Days: 1993/94
Fun Fact: Mike ‘Bastion Booger’ Shaw’s original gimmick in WWE was that of ‘Friar Ferguson’, the wrestling monk. The gimmick – which only made one televised appearance – was ditched early doors due criticism from the Catholic Church.
Tragedy struck WWE in 1993 when the era of Hulkamania officially came to an end. With Hulk Hogan moving on to pastures new – after being sat on by Yokozuna – Vince McMahon was under pressure to find WWE’s next household name. While ‘The Chairman of The Board’ appeared to put all his eggs in Lex Luger’s basket, (or was it a bus?), he did retain one secret weapon; Bastion Booger.
Weighing in at a lean 385lbs and standing equally as tall as he was wide, Booger was a giant hunk of twisted steel and sex appeal. Add his strappy ring gear – which from a distance made him look nude – and impeccably maintained eyebrows and the blueprint for the modern man had arrived. The modern man claiming state benefits that is. Unless viewed on an HD source, it is still almost impossible to see where Booger’s dingy, off-white tights end and his similarly coloured skin began.
While Booger’s ring attire raised questions regarding human decency, his wrestling ability was never open to such debate. Making his debut on July 19th, our hunky beefcake was booked against jobber to the stars Virgil. In what has to be one of the most depressing TV debuts ever, Booger lost…. clean. Although he did win a rematch the following week, Booger’s purpose within WWE soon became clear. Not unlike his initial nemesis, Virgil, Bastion would be fed to more popular stars, like a big, sexy piece of meat.
However, that does not mean that our slightly hunchbacked – and most certainly hunch-fronted – friend did not enjoy some highlights during his brief stay in the Fed. The big guy defeated plenty of jobbers by, erm, sitting on their faces. Don’t worry though, in order to preserve the dignity of himself and his opponent, Booger would usually do a little dance before lowering his crotch and ass crack onto their face.
Surprisingly Booger did manage to score a clean pinfall on someone of even higher standing than Virgil. Our man’s biggest scalp was that of Owen Hart, who a few months later would be catapulted into the main event picture and defeat his brother, Bret, at Wrestlemania X.
Booger’s most storied rivalry lasted an epic seven days. On the January 3rd 1994 episode of Raw our favourite sex machine got slightly carried away and tried to silicate hugs and kisses from his tag team partner’s main squeeze. Problem was, Booger’s partner was Bam Bam Bigelow and his main squeeze was Luna Vachon. The following week Bam Bam promptly defeated Booger with Luna managing to land a few shots of her own for good measure
A few months later our smelly, dirty, slovenly, sex pest of a hero sadly disappeared from WWE.
Mike ‘Bastion Booger’ Show died of a heart attack on September 11th 2010. He was 53.
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