It’s Friday so it’s time to press rewind and relive 1996 all over again. Somewhere in Philadelphia a High School student was accompanied to his prom by TV’s Moesha aka musician Brandy. This lucky young man was called Kobe Bryant… I wonder whatever happened to him?! Anyway, let’s take a look at whatever happened on Raw and Nitro in this week’s ‘The Way We Was‘ …
We start our Raw retrospective with the trials and tribulations of The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. The good news this week is that he has not been accused of trying to sleep with any more of his colleague’s wives. The bad news is that his trip to the beach was ruined by a big bully. I’ll probably need to explain that last statement…
The WWF were recently in Kuwait for a few shows and during some down time The Champ decided to hit a local beach to top up his tan. Unfortunately for Michaels, The British Bulldog had also decided to build sand castles at this particular resort. Cue a public brawl and the sight of Davey Boy Smith attempting to drown Shawn Michaels. The pair were quite convincing to the point that I wondered what passers-by might have made of it all. Anyway, on Raw itself Bulldog told HBK – who will be the guest commentator for Bulldog’s match next week – to stay out of his way.
In Other News From Raw…
- A correction to my earlier statement, Jerry Lawler accused Michaels of “cornering” Sunny in the locker room. That rumour may actually be true…
- There was one shred of good news for Michaels this week; he defeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley in a very good non-title match. They seemed to have good chemistry; I wonder if they’ll work together again…?
- Apparently Ahmed Johnson won the inaugural ‘Kuwait International Tournament’. He celebrated on Raw by having a massive wedgy for the entire duration of his match with Zip
- Speaking of The Bodydonnas, they attempted some ‘twin magic’ in this match. It didn’t work particularly well because although Zip started the match, Skip was the one that got pinned
- Despite his awful gimmick, Duke The Dumpster Droese was once again involved in a decent little match
- There was a weird Ultimate Warrior promo about achieving our dreams. Apparently he has started his own educational facility too: ‘Warrior University’
- Mankind once again attacked The Undertaker, after Goldust distracted The Deadman with some outrageous innuendo. However, Goldust hung around for a little too long afterwards because Taker woke up and scared the crap out of ‘The Bizarre One’
- Mr Perfect – who helped Diesel attack Shawn Michaels last month – watched HBK’s match with Triple H from the aisle
- Ahmed Johnson defeated Zip (w/ Sunny & Skip)
- Vader (w/ Jim Cornette) defeated Duke Droese
- Justin Bradshaw (w/ Uncle Zebakiah) defeated Aldo Montoya
- Shawn Michaels (w/ Jose Lothario) defeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Nitro’s big news is what should have happened last week, i.e. Lex Luger being defeated by WCW Champion The Giant. To ensure that he wasn’t late to the arena again, Luger camped outside the building overnight. The arena staff obviously weren’t kind enough to let performers enter the facility earlier than scheduled. The match ended when The Giant was disqualified for chokeslamming Luger – who commentators treated as a babyface – through Ric Flair’s VIP dining table. Sting appeared after the bell to shoo the big bully away from his injured pal. An interesting sub-plot to the match was that had Luger won he would have become a triple champion – he’s currently the TV Champ and one half of the Tag Champs – and would have been forced to defend the WCW Title against his tag team partner, Sting, at this Sunday’s PPV; Slamboree. Alas, this did not happen and he had to be scraped off the arena floor instead.
In Other News From Nitro…
- Nitro was in Nashville, thus Pepe was dressed as Elvis
- Having fallen behind in the ratings Eric Bischoff appears to have devised a plan to get Nitro back on top. He announced that as of May 27th WCW’s flagship show will be two hours long. I wonder if he has anything special planned for such a momentous occasion?
- Bobby Walker – who the fuck is he? – sustained an injury over the weekend and thus Diamond Dallas Page – I thought he just lost a ‘loser must quit’ match? – will replace him in The Lethal Lottery – what the fuck is that? Help me out here WCW…
- Ahmed Johnson has competition for the ‘Wedgy of The Week’ award. The Giant’s singlet was waaaaay too small for him
- During the main event Eric Bischoff put over Lex Luger slamming Yokozuna in the WWF three years ago
- In the absence of a Hulk Hogan storyline to talk about, all three commentators did a really good job of getting the guys in the mid-card over. The Steiner Brothers and Chris Benoit in particular benefitted from this extra attention
- Ric Flair – a 10 time champion at this point, I think – required assistance from Miss Elizabeth to defeat VK Wallstreet in the former IRS’ first appearance on Nitro this year
- On that matter, Flair’s feet were hanging out of the ring – and thus under the ropes – before Liz provided assistance. Pay attention ref…
- Flair also said a bunch of football things to ex-football player Steve ‘Mongo’ McMichael. It did not appear to work as the commentator seemed to take it all in stride
- Outside, Macho Man Randy Savage – who arrived at the arena with no bags and already wearing his gear – was refused entry by security. Mongo then appeared and told Savage to calm down because he had a plan…
- The Steiner Brothers defeat The Public Enemy
- Chris Benoit defeats Squire David Taylor (w/ Jeeves)
- Ric Flair (w/ Miss Elizabeth & Woman) defeats VK Wallstreet
- WCW World Heavyweight Title Match: The Giant (w/ Jimmy Hart) (c) vs. Lex Luger – No Contest
Another ‘W’ for Raw with a 3.5 – 2.3 victory. Elsewhere the season finale of Friends drew a 19.1. It was The One With Barry and Mindy’s Wedding… that was a season finale?!
You can read all previous ‘The Way We Was’ pieces here.