Craig Wilson, Jamie Lithgow, Brian Damage, Benjamin Trecroci, Russ Morgan and Earl Marx
Last weekend the WWE hosted Payback which, by and large, was a fairly solid affair. Regardless, it will be best remembered for the House of Horrors match, the heavily hyped bout between Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt. In today’s Sunday Sermon, we ask if it was the silliest match ever.
Craig: It’s fair to say it was mightily silly, in fact downright preposterous. From wrestling in the dark at the compound to arriving at a brightly lit arena through to the awful shaky camera work and the lack of hyped rules for the match – although the fridge had a strong performance so perhaps we can expect it to be called up soon.
It got me thinking, was it the silliest match ever, however? Mercifully, the history of wrestling is absolutely littered with nonsense. From David Arquette winning the WCW title, Harvey Whippleman, a man, winning the WWE women’s title through to WCW appearances from Robocop and the Yeti dry-humping Hulk Hogan.
But what about matches, what are worse? The Chamber of Horrors match was silly, with its electrocution finish. The Punjabi prison match was utter tosh and left me wondering how much the WWE forked out on that drivel.
So, guys, is the House of Horrors the silliest match of all time?
Jamie: I’ll confess, I’ve not seen the House of Horrors match so it may or may not be the daftest match ever. However, what has jumped straight into my head is the infamous Kennel from Hell Match between Al Snow and The Big Bossman in 1999. Anything, where live animals are used as a stipulation for a match, is stupid, fact! Putting aside the generally lovely, and frankly scared, dogs and it doesn’t get any better. A cage inside a Hell in a Cell, could fans in the arena see anything?! The cherry on the cake was that it was contested between two low/mid card acts being pushed beyond their limitations.
Craig: and all the dog shit. Don’t forget the dog shit. A by-product of the scared dogs…
Jamie: The Kennel from Hell Match is the silliest bout I can immediately think of which, at least, actually took place in or around the ring. However, and as the House of Horrors Match appears to have demonstrated, matches outwith the ring – and even the arena – are a whole different ball game. The King of The Road Match in WCW which saw Dustin Rhodes face The Blacktop Bully in the back of a moving truck has to be up there. From what I hear, Dustin’s blade job in the match was a contributing factor to him leaving the company due to WCW’s PG rating. Bowing out of a company in a match that required a helicopter to film is certainly a hell of a way to go!
Brian: It certainly wasn’t the worst thing I have seen, that distinction goes to the Kennel from Hell match or even the Judy Bagwell on a pole match. Heck, any fill in the blank on a pole match from the mind of Vince Russo! It is obvious the WWE tried to capitalize on the success of all those pre-taped events that the Broken Hardy’s did with TNA.
The House of Horrors match just wasn’t that entertaining, was it silly? Perhaps, but not the worst thing I have seen either.
Benjamin: Yes Craig, never forget about all the dog shit, dog shit people! That was a hot mess…literally.
But as far the House of Horrors match goes, it wasn’t even that bad. Found myself laughing at it and actually enjoyed it. Sometimes you have to throw logic completely out the window and have fun for a bit. Inside the arena, it probably sucked watching a screen but at home it was actually pretty entertaining.
Some matches that come to mind was that shitshow in 2000 when Pat Patterson took on Gerald Bisco in a Hardcore Evening Gown Match. How about no?!?
Or how about that Hardcore Junkyard match at WCW Bash at the Beach 1999? They actually had a match at a junkyard. Bunch of random luchadors, Fit Finlay, Hak, yeah you get the picture. It wasn’t entertaining or funny.
Triple H vs Henry Godwin. 1995 Arkansas Hog Pen Match at 1995 In Your House. WWF/E tries to pretend they didn’t do stupid things like this, but they were. The object of the match was throwing your opponent into a hog pen. Six stars no doubt.
So, House of Horrors isn’t going to be on a Best Of Collection anytime soon, but it’s nowhere near worst match ever.
Craig: Also, Benjamin, let’s not forget the amount of injuries racked up in that junkyard match so it was silly and costly. Heck, didn’t someone retire as a result of that?
I vaguely also remember an evening gown match in the WWE that took place in an inflatable swimming pool filled up with, I want to say, chocolate sauce that Harvey Wippleman won. Am I right? Or am I opening myself up to questions about what I dream about…
Brian: Craig, you are definitely not imagining that happening. Harvey Wippleman dressed up as a woman named Harvina and I believe won the WWF women’s championship to boot.
Getting back to ridiculous matches and keeping with the horror theme, what about WCW’s Chamber of Horrors match? You all remember that one, don’t you? That was the one that I believe involved Abdullah the Butcher getting “electrocuted.”
Jamie: Ah the Chamber of Horrors match. I have fond memories of that believe it or not, largely due to Halloween Havoc 91 being one of the first WCW events I ever saw. The match was doubly ridiculous when you consider both the stipulation – strapping someone into an electric chair and electrocuting them – and the talent involved. If memory serves me correctly, Sting, The Steiner Brothers, Scott Hall (as The Diamond Studd) and Cactus Jack were all in the match. I think Vader was in there too. That’s a good chunk of WCW’s top guys at the time. I do love Mick Foley’s story about him having to wait and age to pull the lever and accidentally electrocute his own team mate, despite it having already fallen into the ‘on’ position anyway.
Sticking with WCW, any time they stacked cages on top of each other bad things happened. That triple cage encounter when Hulk Hogan and Macho Man took on 8 guys and won was a solid 30 minutes of my life I will never get back.
Russ: I think they did it as a bit of fun. Find an abandoned house, buy everything from Poundland you can think of and make it look scary.
Earl: This has been a seriously fun thread to read. Ha! While my memory has left me on a lot of matches, I will say that this match was NOT the silliest match I think I’ve seen. Brian and Benjamin nailed my sentiments – it is not the worst I’ve seen, but definitely was not entertaining to me. I actually think, we could have gone in another direction considering Jericho/Owens was for the US title, but for some reason, Bray could not get his rematch for the title. For me, I do think the Kennel From Hell match tops my list. As a child watching it, I had high hopes for something brutal considering a steel cage inside of a HIAC was the premise. But once execution was taken into consideration, it failed for me…and years later, I still have no good memory of Bossman and the HIAC. God rest his soul but dang it. Ha!
You can read all previous Sunday Sermons here.