Top Five Talkers in Wrestling History

Jamie Lithgow, Craig Wilson, Brian Damage, James Giles & Russ Morgan

The Rock lays the verbal smackdown (Image courtesy of http://whatistheexcel.com/)

To become a huge star in wrestling a number of attributes are required in order to build a connection with the audience. One of those is the ability to take on the mic. Whether that’s cutting a promo on a future opponent or during an interview segment the talking ability of superstars has proved crucial in getting them over in the eyes of the fans.

So from Stone Cold to CM Punk and Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts Jamie, Craig, Brian, James and Russ share their Top Five talkers in wrestling history.

Jamie

Honourable mentions: Roddy Piper and Dusty Rhodes. Before my time, simple as that.

5. Stone Cold Steve Austin

I can’t think of anyone with a better connection to the audience than Austin. In his pre 3:16 days he was anything from really good to outstanding, however thereafter he was damn near untouchable. He didn’t sound like any wrestler I had ever heard. Down to Earth and straight to the point, he sounded like a real person. Oh yeah, and he was also responsible for, debatably, the most memorable promo in wrestling history.

4. CM Punk

His original “pipebomb” was the promo of this generation, nothing else in the last ten years even comes close. Sure, one could argue that it’s easy to shock a wrestling audience and pop the IWC by making insider references, but Punk almost always finds the right blend of insider references and in-character remarks to make every promo he cuts a must-see experience for all fans. Punk always has something interesting to say and always keeps us, and the WWE censors, on our toes.

3. John Cena

Like him or not, he cuts one hell of a promo. Granted I preferred him in his white rapper persona, both heel and face versions, because he consistently delivered original material. His rap about Jay-Z from the Wrestlemania 19 pre-show is still some of his best work. These days his material is slightly immature and his rhetoric is getting old, but you can’t question the manner in which it is delivered. This guy is exceptional on front of a live audience, and his improvisation skills are easily the best in the business.

2. Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts

My introduction to wrestling was the cartoon world of the late 80’s and early 90’s. At this time pretty much everyone was an over the top, erm, cartoon-esque character. The exceptions to the rule were Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart and Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts. The Hitman was adequate in his promos, but Roberts was on another level. While everyone else shouted and yelled he spoke softly and eloquently. His choice of words and his use of language seemed so measured and precise. Quite frankly, he scared the crap out of me!

1. The Rock

I’m sorry, but as great as the other performers on this list are, not one of them can hold a candle to The Great One. For me he’s the Mohammad Ali of wrestling; he’s a born entertainer. The fact that my Mum used to (and probably still does) find him entertaining is testament to the fact that he doesn’t need to be on front of a wrestling crowd, he’s charismatic enough, and smart enough, to entertain everyone. Austin is rather crass for a family audience, Cena is a bit of a douche, Punk makes too many insider references and Roberts needs a context. You could ask The Rock to talk about any topic imaginable and chances are the results would be hilarious.

Craig

Honorary mentions: Ric Flair and Chris Jericho

5. Roddy Piper

Many have tried to replicate the success of “Piper’s Pit” but based on the fact it got him so much heat he was shot, stabbed and millions paid to see Hogan kick his ass then it’s unlikely any talk show segment will have the same impact. I’m still trying to work out where in Scotland that Piper is from…

4. CM Punk

It’s difficult to think of anyone currently on the roster that is as good on the microphone as Punk. Whether it was his time on commentary – either on Raw or NXT when his commentary was laced with insider jokes – or cutting promos of John Laurinaitis, Triple H or Kevin Nash Punk has shown himself to be a great talker.

3. Stone Cold Steve Austin

The video I really wanted to accompany this entry, surprisingly, isn’t the King of the Ring 1996 promo but instead one from Raw in 1997. In the clip Austin is still recovering from Owen Hart’s piledriver with Jim Ross turns up on his ranch. Austin is presented with a package that contains a series of signed photos of WWE personalities including Gorilla Monsoon, The Rock and Vince McMahon. Stone Cold places these on various targets and fires arrows from a crossbow at them as he cuts promos on them. Sadly, I couldn’t find the clip so the KoTR one will have to do.

2. Dusty Rhodes

I could really just post the “hard times” promo video to justify his inclusion. This is without doubt the single greatest promo of all time, as he drew on the plights of out of work steel and factory workers during his feud with Ric Flair.

1. Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts

When I first started watching the WWF Roberts was the best talker there was in the company. Sure, at the time some of the stuff he was talking about went over my head but it still blew me away. Fast forward a decade and rewatching his promos and I now know what he’s talking about and I’m still blown away. A master on the mic and perhaps one of the best storytellers there is. Such a shame that personal problems robbed the wrestling world of him for the best part of two decades. What an incredible booker, manager or commentator he would have been. And I’m with Jamie, he scared me too!

Brian:

Honorable mentions: Don Muraco…The Honkytonk Man….CM Punk…Tully Blanchard

5. Eddie Gilbert

“Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert played a classic heel better than anyone. He used real hatred for certain people to fuel some of the best interviews in wrestling history. People talk about how Cm Punk is dangerous with a live mic….he’s an amateur in some respects to a live mic held by Gilbert….Hot stuff indeed.

4. Ted Dibiase

From his days as leader of Mid South’s “Rat Pack” to becoming “The Million Dollar Man,” Dibiase is an extremely skilled talker who knew how to play a character the proper way. His promo where he was going to buy the WWF championship from Hulk Hogan was great.

3. Dusty Rhodes

The Dream had to make this list for his sheer passion alone. Nobody can cut a promo and relate to fans more than a Dusty Rhodes promo. You can truly feel and hear his love of the business every time he speaks.

2. Jake Roberts

A heel’s heel…Jake is a master of in ring psychology and has a PHD in cutting a devilish promo. Jake isn’t just a heel you can hate…he was a heel you feared. I think mainly because he tapped into the real demons he was battling through his life.

1. Arn Anderson

“The Enforcer” as he was known…was not just for his technical prowess inside the ring…but also for his gift of gab behind the mic. Arn Anderson was a natural talker who could irritate you and make you feel unsafe. He probably doesn’t want to toot his own horn…but toot…toot!

James:

Honourable mentions – Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, CM Punk, John Cena

5. The Rock

During the Attitude Era, The Rocks promos were frequently the highlight of Raw and Smackdown; ultra-charismatic and hilarious, few could ever deliver an electrifying verbal beat-down quite like The Rock. The man was a catchphrase king too, having so many memorable lines that he even managed to crack popular culture in a song with Wyclef Jean (‘It doesn’t matter’ which peaked at no.3 in the UK chart!). Not higher up only due to his dramatic promos never quite having the same impact as his funny ones.

4. Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts

At a time when the popular promo style was Macho Man/Warrior style nonsensical rambling and shouting, Jake Roberts stood out with his slow, deliberate delivery and often thoughtful musings. He was unafraid to use complex phrases and subtle analysis and never underestimated the audience ability to understand them. A total one off and no doubt influence on generations of heel wrestlers to come.

3. ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper

Charismatic, fiery and fiercely intelligent, the crazy Canadian could draw heel heat like almost no other wrestler, and the majority of this was down brilliant delivery on the mike. He was also the pioneer of the heel interview spot, Pipers Pit, an excellent forum for his skills which has been endlessly reused in the pursuit of heel heat by a stream of wrestlers since.

2. Mick Foley

Whether as Mankind, Dude Love, Cactus Jack or just plain old Mick Foley, Mrs Foleys baby boy is the master of meaningful, story enhancing promos. As well as his knack for conveying complex motivations, Foley could be also pretty damn funny and as a lifelong wrestling fan, he knew how to pop the crowd in just the right way (‘right here, on Ring the Damn Bell!’). Combine all this with the fact for most of his WWE career he convincingly played 3 or 4 different characters with their own unique personalities and idiosyncrasies and surely Foley is the best talker ever – right?

1. Stone Cole Steve Austin

Only one person could really top Foley, and that person is his long time buddy Steve Austin. Stone Cold could be just about anything on the mike, including side-splittingly funny, believably badass, or a down right nasty heel. Often drawing on his own personal feelings to add realism, this can best be seen in his heated promos in ECW. His no-nonsense way of speaking also endeared him to fans as someone that they could really relate to, and his ‘what?’ inflections became one of the most enduring chants in WWE history. Even in retirement Austin keeps up the fantastic work with his podcast. A true promo legend.

Russ

5) Ted Dibiase

“The Million Dollar Man” was one of the greatest promo deliverers of the 80’s and early 90’s. As a singles or tag team wrestler, Ted would garner alot of heat through the camera, which would transpire to the crowd. He would also keep the audiance engaged during matches. Ted would always sign off with his trademark laugh. Although relatively simple in content, Ted’s vignettes were always enjoyable to watch whether he was about to go into a match or buying someones soul. Remember, everybodies got a price.

4) CM Punk

Easily the best talker of the here and now. From the PipeBomb to the time he was cut off, Punk pushes the boundaries that none of the current roster can. An enigma of sorts, Punk can make you want to watch a match simply by opening his mouth. Sometimes you don’t know whether it is kayfabe or real, it takes a special kind of talent to do that.

3) Stone Cold Steve Austin

“Stone Cold” was one of the stars of the attitude era and the reason for this was his promos. WWE gave him alot of leeway with what he said and pretty much said whatever he wanted. The crowd totally engaged with Austins “anti-hero” persona. For years he would chastise and beat up Vince McMahon, not everyone gets to beat up the boss from time to time. Whenever Stone Cold turns up on WWE TV, you know your going to get great entertainment and an asswhooping. From “What” to “That’s The Bottom Line”, Austin is brilliant.

2) The Rock

Dwayne Johnson is a natural in front of the camera, no wonder Hollywood came calling. The Rock came up with some golden sayings, so much so a show was named after one of them, he was very quick witted and his monologues became synonymous with the attitude era. Although a lot of them were more for comical effect, he came across with great charisma. IF YA SMELLLLLLLL!!!!!

1) Jake The Snake Roberts

This man is the ultimate in promos, vignettes and using long words. Jake would stare through the camera making you think he was actually talking to you. Jake was even given his own chat spot which was used good effect. None of the wrestlers he interviewed could keep up with him. He would confuse most, but you would get the drift. Jake is extremely intelligent, shame he wasn’t always that way in real life.

All previous Top Five pieces can be read here.